F**ck
Ya know, a good "F-word" is just simply needed sometimes and this is one of those times. Today, we spent 6 hours (yes, 6!) via Zoom in legal mediation on our home with the Sellers, their realtor and legal counsel, the mediator, and our attorney.
I know, I know, woe is we, cause yes, we have a roof over our heads, we have heat and air and warm beds at night...so does any of that overshadow the sheer shittiness of the situation? Abso-freakin-lutely-NOT. And neither does any situation in which we may find ourselves that compared to a more extreme scenario, get diminished by the fact that it sucks for you, me or whomever in that situation. Because simply put, in our own sphere of influence, that situation is a pressure cooker that we may only feel. Just because someone else is going through something hard doesn't make one situation less important or difficult.
This idea of comparative analysis was very difficult for me to overcome. Society has a great way of sticking things side-by-side to contrast good/bad, yes/no, mad/sad, ugly/pretty...on and on at an attempt to make us want to look like the other person or covet the other person's life.
What does self-acceptance and appreciation really come down to? Awareness.
What I see, feel, hear, does not always have to be in comparison to someone else. Their situation truly can be their situation and I don't have to know all the details, empathize with all points, and try to make myself feel less than because "that must be so much harder for them" and my situation doesn't merit complaining or feeling mad, sad, or otherwise.
For 8 months, we have put blood, sweat, and tears into finding justice for our home purchase we thought was our "forever home." The noteworthy 1986 movie, "The Money Pit" feels a little too close to home...
From a failed AC system in the first 4 months that later was known to have had failed capacitors, to a mouse infestation, gas leaks, flood basement ceiling from a water heater (the mechanical room is in the back of the garage over part of the basement), cover ups, cracking foundation and settling walls...we just don't know what's next.
And YES, we got an inspection. But as we've learned, inspections are not all created equal. And sadly, the guidance from our realtor was not helpful or directed to expand the inspection to say an engineer or someone who minimally should have used a moisture meter and thermal camera, which I thought was standard practice. A field such as Home Inspection sure as hell should have "standards" and yet we saw the biggest misses ever which have now resulted in thousands spent and thousands yet to be spent repairing damages, upgrading, and mitigating issues like settling foundation walls.
What's the moral of the story? Curse when the moment is right...it's probably merited.